Remember Me
by WaterAlchemist12
Summary: The accident constantly replays in Misaki's head and if only he had been quicker he would've been able to push Akihiko out of the way. After awakening from a coma, Akihiko no longer remembers the past year he's spent with Misaki and now it's up to Misaki to help him regain his memories. Misaki must now show his true feelings to Akihiko before he forgets him entirely. Rated M.
1. Alone

**Hello! This is my first fanfiction where I'm writing BL. I feel like if I want to become a writer I should dwell into all genres of writing. I do have other works out. My most current fic is Becoming Free Again, and I do want to focus more of my time into that one before truly committing to this story. I hope you guys all enjoy and I do not own any of the characters except for the ones I make up!**

The event replays over and over again in my head. Every time I close my eyes I see him walking and then suddenly ten feet away sprawled on the ground. I now sit here alone watching his EKG beep at a steady, slow rhythm. _If only I had been quicker, to have pushed him out of the way or pull him to the sidewalk. This is my entire fault. Is it bad to wish our roles be reversed?_

Everything had happened so fast. Papa Usagi had just told him to find someone else, to get rid of me. Of course he had to defend me, I even had to defend him. But, with his pride being at an all time high, he took my hand and dragged me out of the apartment to escape his father. That idiot had to keep walking out into the street and now I have to constantly wipe my eyes and cheeks due to the never-ending flow of tears. _I never knew someone could ever make me feel this way._

I sigh as I reach out and grab his bandaged hand gently, as if holding a bird with a broken wing. I hear the door open and my head turns to see the next guest visiting Akihiko. _Papa Usagi._

"I'd like to apologize for the things I inquired about you and Akihiko," he says and bows his head to me.

"You were just worrying about your son. It's okay," I say giving him a small smile, but I immediately look back to Usagi.

"Did the doctors say anything about his condition after I left?" he asks taking a seat under the window.

"He has a collapsed lung from one of his broken ribs, and we can't really know much about his mental state until he wakes up," I say gently squeezing Usagi's hand.

"Why don't you head home for the night? I can take the night shift," he says, but I can't imagine going back to that dark apartment all alone.

"No, I'm fine. I can stay here till he wakes up," I say.

"You don't know if that could be tonight, tomorrow or even next week. Just go and get some sleep. I'd also like to spend some time alone with him," he says and my head hangs low as I rise from my seat. I loosen my grip from his hand and I take another look at Usagi's peaceful but bandaged face. I bend over and let my lips graze against his head careful not cause any discomfort.

"Goodnight Misaki."

"Goodnight sir. I'll be back tomorrow morning," I say and he nods his head as I leave the hospital room.

I look up to the clock on the wall above the nurse's station " _23:34 PM"._ I sigh as I tug on my coat and stuff my hands into my pockets and I dodge the rushing nurses and doctors on my journey home.

I make the short walk to the train station and I stand there awaiting my train to whisk me away. I step on feeling the flood of memories of Akihiko and I when we went to Hokkaido and he got the private room. I can't help the blush that forms on my face and I cover my mouth with my hand trying my hardest to think of anything else. I'd rather not start crying on a public train.

When the train comes to my stop, I slowly step onto the platform and a part of me wishes I had stayed at the hospital now. _I can't go back alone_.

I continue out of the station and make my way to the apartment. On my way I can feel my stomach ache. _That's right, I haven't eaten yet. Usagi and I were supposed to go out for dinner. We're supposed to eat together for every meal._

I run my hand through my hair missing Usagi's touch. As I unlock the front door and step into the dark apartment, I don't hear the television or radio playing, I can't smell the smoke from his cigarettes, and I don't feel his arms pulling me into a tight embrace as he usually does when I return from school. I flip on the light switch and throw my body on the couch with the lingering scent of his cologne. It's at this moment where I completely breakdown into a sobbing mess.

I never knew I could miss that annoying, idiot so much until he was actually out of my grasp. I miss everything about him. The way he smoked while looking out the window or how he enjoyed every meal I made him. How he could always turn a bad day into one I could never forget. _What am I doing? I'm acting as if he died. He's just in a coma, but for how long?_

I pull one of the pillows over my face and sob more till the point where I almost miss the incoming phone call. I scramble to my feet and quickly answer it without looking at the ID.

"Hello," I say trying to sound as if I wasn't just crying.

"Misaki?" I hear my brother on the other end.

"Oh. Hi Takahiro."

"I'm watching the news right now. Is Akihiko actually in the hospital? What happened? They're saying he was hit by a truck," he says and I take in a deep breath.

"Yeah it's true. I was there. He's in coma right now with a collapsed lung and a few fractures in his right arm and left leg. The doctor's won't know what's going on mentally when he wakes up, but they don't know when that will happen," I say.

"Are you at the hospital with him?" Takahiro asks and I can imagine him rubbing his temples right now like he usually does when under stress.

"No, I'm back at the apartment," I say.

"Alone? I'll be sure to take the train out there tomorrow and visit you okay," he says concerned.

"What about work and your wife. You know I'm perfectly fine out here by myself," I say.

"I'll take the week off and she's visiting her mother for the week. She'll understand, she knows how much Akihiko means to me," he says and I sigh. _Now might be a good time to tell him about us. He'll eventually find out when Usagi wakes up._

"Takahiro, I have something to tell you," I almost whisper into the receiver.

"What?" he asks and I can hear the interest in his voice. _I don't know if I can do it._

"Usagi – I mean Akihiko – and I… Have become great friends and it hurts seeing him like this in the hospital," I say. _I couldn't bring myself to do it. I need Usagi here with me when we tell brother about our relationship._

"I'll be there tomorrow, okay. You can stay with me while he's in the hospital. I love you Misaki," he says and I can feel my eyes watering up again.

"Love you too," I say and hang up the phone. I press my palms against my eyes and head over to the pantry to get a protein bar. I sit at the dining table munching on the rubbery granola bar and I feel engulfed by the silence around me as if I'm being suffocated.

After I'm finished, I turn the lights off down stairs and make my way up to the second floor coming face-to-face with Usgai's bedroom door. I walk towards it and hesitate slightly before turning the knob. I'm overwhelmed by Usagi's scent, but I continue on into his room. His bed is a mess from the night before, funny how twenty-four hours Usagi and I were asleep at this time and all was well. I sit on his bed and lay on my back looking up to the ceiling with glow-in-the-dark solar system stickers. The many nights I've stayed with him in this room, looking up at the same view as I am now stings like a fresh wound.

I turn on my side and notice one of his t-shirts strewn on the bed. I pick it up and hold it close to me before leaving his room with it in my hand. I change into my pajama pants and I throw on Usagi's large shirt and I smile as if he is embracing me. As I now lay in my bed, tucked under my covers I'm well aware sleep is the farthest thing from my mind.

 _I wonder how he's doing? I hope he's comfortable. I wish I had just stayed with him tonight, even if his father wanted time with him. Why now? Papa Usagi was never there for him before. I've been here for Usagi, not him. I never said I loved him again. What if he never wakes up? What am I going to do without him? When am I going to tell brother about our relationship?_

I feel as though my brain might implode from the many questions I can't even answer. I can finally feel my eyelids grow heavy and soon enough I fall asleep with only Usagai on my mind.

I wake up to the sound of my phone ringing and I pat my hand around my bedside table and finally answer it.

"What Usagi?" I say immediately, but my brain quickly realizes that he's not here, but in the hospital, "I mean, uh, hello?"

"I'm on the train. Be sure to pick me up at noon. We'll go out to lunch after," Takahiro says and I run my hands through my hair.

"Okay. I'm going to visit Akihiko at the hospital and then I'll come and get you," I say sleepily.

"Sounds good. See you then Misaki," he says and we both hang up the phone. I sigh as I get up from my bed and head over the bathroom.

 _I guess yesterday wasn't a terrible nightmare,_ I think to myself as I climb into the hot shower. I quickly wash up and brush my teeth and then head back into my room to change. At least I'm on holiday from school, I'm pretty sure I'd still miss though even if it were in session.

I make myself a piece of toast, but I throw it away after a few bites and I leave the apartment not being able to stand the silence anymore. Before I actually exit the building I turn on my heels and head back to the apartment. I run upstairs to the bear room and pull one of the smaller ones off the shelf and stuff it into my school bag. This time I actually leave the apartment building and head to the train station.

I hold onto the bar as the train comes to a halt at the station across the street from the hospital. I exit the train with my head held low and I dread every step towards the hospital not wanting to see Usagi in his condition, a man once so strong now broken down.

I peer through the small window into the room and it appears no one is in there except Akihiko. I gently close the door behind me as I enter and I sigh as I run my hand through my hair as I look at Usagi. He looks so peaceful, as if he were just napping before a deadline. I take a seat at the foot of his bed and pull out the stuffed bear and place it next to his torso.

"I thought you could use something from home," I say and I then reach out the grab his hand.

"I'd like to apologize for not being as affectionate to you as you are to me. I guess I never truly understood my feelings until the night in the Ferris wheel, and yet you knew the night Takahiro announced his marriage. I feel stupid for not saying it as much, but I do love you. Now I just need you to wake up," I say and I watch as my tears drip onto his sheets.

"Please, wake up. I know it's only been one night, but I don't know how long I'll be able to worry about you while you're in this condition. I may put myself in a hospital bed next to yours."

"Takahiro is coming down to visit me. Well, he's mainly coming down to see you. I think I might tell him about us. I tried last night, but I chickened out. I feel like we need to tell him together, but in all reality, he's my brother I should be the one to do it. I just want you to focus on getting better," I whisper and for a split second it feels as though his hand tightens around mine.

"Misa-ki," I hear a faint whisper come from his mouth and my head whips up.

"Usagi? Usagi are you awake. Please talk to me," I plead, but no answer comes.

"I love you," I whisper again and for the next hour or so I just stay there looking over him, making sure nothing happens, until I hear a knock on the door.

"Professor Kamijou?" I question as my literature professor enters the room with another man with black hair.

"Ah, Misaki Takahashi. How do you know Usami? I'm an old childhood friend of his. This is Nowaki Kusama, he's my partner," Kamijou introduces and I can see the blush form on their faces.

"It's nice to meet you," I say bowing to Kusama, "I'm actually his roommate."

"So you live with this idiot? Must be a handful," Kamijou says and Kusama nudges him.

"Be nice Hiro," he says, but I just laugh.

"No, he's most definitely is a lot to handle," I say and they both laugh also.

"I'm just glad he has someone taking care of him."

"He can barely cook a meal. I don't know how he survived before."

"His cooking always did suck," Kamijou laughs.

It's so weird to see my professor from hell so laid back and happy. Usually he's yelling at the class or throwing books at us. It must be Kusama who changes him. I then feel my back pocket buzzing and I whip out my phone.

"Hello," I answer.

"Misaki, I'll be there in about thirty minutes," Takahiro says and I look down at my watch. _I should be going now. It takes a good twenty minutes to get to the station._

"I'm leaving now," I say and hang up while turning around to my professor and his partner.

"Thank you for coming to visit him," I bow and they both nod their heads in recognition.

When I finally get to the train station, I see my brother outside waiting for me with a small suitcase planted next to him.

"Takahiro!" I yell and his head pops up and waves to me.

"Hey Misaki!" he yells back and I pick up the pace to go meet him.

He engulfs me in a tight hug and we stay like this for a while before letting go.

"How's he doing?" he asks as we start towards his hotel.

"Doing the same I guess," I say and stuff my hands into my jean pockets.

"I know it's hard, but I'm sure you've noticed that Akihiko is pretty stubborn. He's not going to let this beat him," Takahiro reassures me and it does make me feel slightly better.

"You're right," I say and he gives me a smile back.

"How about we go grab some sushi for lunch after I settle myself in at the hotel?"

"Sounds good to me."

"After we can head back to Akihiko's and grab some stuff for you. I just really don't want you by yourself," he says.  
"I'm going to have to live on my own sometime," I reply and he laughs.

"I know. Can you just stop growing up?" he says and ruffles my hair.

Takahiro checks into his room and I help him get settled. I sit on his bed and I can feel memories of the Teito Hotel rush through my mind from the party to brother Usagi to the night spent with Akihiko. _I need to stop thinking like this. I'm assuming that he's not going to pull through. Of course he is, he's the great Usami Akihiko._

"Misaki?" Takahiro waves his hand in front of me and I blink my eyes realizing how close he is.

"Sorry, I must've started day dreaming," I say and run my hand through my hair.

"It's alright, let's go grab something to eat. I'm starving," he says and we both exit Hotel Teito.

"I heard this place is really good," I say as I open the door for my brother.

"It better be. I never knew how much I'd miss your cooking until I got a wife with lesser skills as you."  
"Don't say that. I'm sure she's a fine cook," I say and we take our seats at the sushi bar.

"Her food tastes okay, but jeez you can make a mean stir-fry," he compliments.

"Thanks, I've missed you too," I say and he smiles.

"You know, if this is more of a permanent ordeal, you can come stay with me," he offers.

"I'd have to quit school then. I tried so hard to get into M University; I'm not going to just leave. I'll probably stay with Sumi. He's one of my friends that I met this year."

"Alright, I guess I need to you let you go at some point," he says and ruffles my hair.

"Gah! Can you stop doing that," I say while flattening my hairs back down as he laughs.

We order our dishes, but just as I pick up my piece of tuna my phone starts to vibrate in my back pocket. I drop the piece of fish and pull out my phone and answer it.

"Hello?"

"Misaki Takahashi correct?"

"Yeah, may I ask who is calling," I say.

"Ah, this is Doctor Tachibana. We have an update on Usami Akihiko. He just woke up. He most definitely recovered from this much faster than we intended."

"Okay. I'll be right over," I say back and I can feel the smile forming on my face and Takahiro gives me a raised eyebrow.

"See you then," he says and I hang up and quickly hop out of my seat.

"He's awake. We have to go," I say pulling Takahiro out of his seat.  
"Okay, okay," he says pulling out three thousand yen to pay for our lunch.

I nearly sprint to the station with Takahiro following behind me while every so often yelling at me to slow down. When on the train I feel as thought I might vomit from the anticipation from seeing him awake.

I sprint off the train and leave Takahiro in the dust, at this point really don't care that me finds out about my relationship with Usagi. I just need to see that he's okay.

We stand in the elevator going up to the tenth floor and we don't say a word because Takahiro is so out of breath from chasing after me. The bell dings as the doors open and I coolly walk into the hospital wing. We find Usagi's room and he's smiling while chatting with Doctor Tachibana. I open the door and Usagi seems to look past me.

"Takahiro?" he questions and the smile that has been plastered on my face quickly disappears.

"Hey," my brother says and walks in the room and takes a seat next to his bed.

"Who's this that you have with you?" Usagi asks and I can feel my heart sink to the floor.

"Akihiko this is Misaki, my brother," Takahiro says dumbfounded, but I look to the doctor who now is curious of the situation.

"Ah, so you are the famous Misaki I've heard so much about," he says and gives me a warm smile.

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter. Please comment and review. It definitely helps me out as a writer if you do so. See you guys next time!**


	2. Late Night Visitation

**Hello! I'd like to thank all of the support I've received in the comments to continue writing this fic. You guys really motivated me to write another chapter! I hope you guys like this chapter! Enjoy!**

"Amnesia?" I ask as I run my hands through my hair and look over to Usagi-san still talking to Takahiro in the room.

"It appears so. He must've smacked his head pretty hard if he was able to completely forget you. He's due for surgery tomorrow for his punctured lung and will be kept in the hospital for another week. I say come around a few times and take a stroll down memory lane with him, try to get him to remember. During that time his mind should recuperate, and gain back some memories," Doctor Tachibana says and rests his on my shoulder, "I'm sure everything will be okay. His mind is still in shock from the whole accident. Give it a few days and all we can hope is that it's not permanent."

"Thank you doctor," I say and nod my head.

"Buzz the nurse if you guys need anything," he says and leaves to the room next to us.

I stand there for a moment, and lean against the wall next to the room and close my eyes. _He's forgotten me. He remembers nii-chan, but not me. What if this is permanent? Could we even have the same relationship we had before?_

"Misaki?" I hear my name be called and I'm pulled out of my own thoughts to see Kasuma-san.

"Hi," I say and I see his lips drop from a smile.

"I thought he was awake? Hiro-san told me he got a call from the hospital. He told me to check on him," he says and I nod my head.

"He's awake, but he's suffering from amnesia and he doesn't remember me," I say.

"Oh," he says and leans against the wall next to me, "You guys aren't just roommates, are you?"

"No, we aren't" I say and hang my head.

"Well it's not always permanent," he says.

"Doctor Tachibana already told me. They have no idea if it is or not," I say.

"I'm sure it will all work out. I need to head back to my own patients now. See you around Takahashi-kun," he says and walks down the hall to the elevators.

I look back the room and see my brother and Akihiko still talking. There's something in Usagi-san's eyes as he stares at my brother, it's the look he gave him before he became my tutor. Lust. Love.

I hear footsteps coming towards me and I look to see Papa Usagi making his way over to Akihiko's room.

"I got a call from the doctor that he's up. How is he?" he asks rushing past me.

"Wait!" I yell out to him before he turns the knob to Usagi's door.

"What?"

"He has amnesia," I whisper, but Papa Usagi hears me and walks over to where I'm standing, "He doesn't remember the past year that I've spent with him. It's like I haven't been in his life at all."

"Oh, well this is interesting. Then I guess now it would be best if you made your way out of his life. If he obviously doesn't remember you, you should let him be. Let my son get a new start on life, and maybe he'll find someone more suiting," he says and I'm at a loss for words.

"What about your apology?"

"Well, I assumed my son would remember the one he clearly loved when he'd wake up. Just get out of the way for Akihiko, he doesn't need to worry about a kid ten years his senior while he's focusing on his career," he says and looks into the room, "Besides it seems his love for your older brother has rekindled."

"How did you know about that?" I ask.

"I've kept a close watch on my son Misaki. Obviously it's one-sided since he is married, but I'd rather have him love someone not interested than a person who shows his love half-assed and break his heart."

"I've told you before, my love for your son is not half-assed! I'm just disappointed that he has to remember you rather than me!" I yell and I earn a few glances from nurses and other patients.

"I think you need to remember who you're talking to. Collect your brother and leave here. Don't speak to my son and don't get in his way," he says raising his voice back.

I walk past him and go inside the room and I look to Usami-chichi watching my every move.

"Takahiro we should be leaving," I state and now they have their attention on me.

"But I haven't gotten to know you yet Misaki," Usagi says in his deep voice and my heart aches.

"We should have tea sometime then. Maybe when you're out of this place."

"That sounds great. You're brother told me we were flat mates before my accident. I'd like to apologize for not remembering," he says and I try to hold back my tears.

"Well, I think I should be moving out anyways," I say before even thinking. _Am I really letting Usagi-chichi get to me? Maybe it is best for him to find someone more suited for his social class. But how can I just sit here and remember everything we've done and yet he has no recollection. I don't know if I'd be able to love someone other than_ Usagi. That's right. I truly love this old, stupid man.

"Are you sure?" my brother asks.

"Yeah," I reply. _No! I want to stay with Usagi-san._

"I'll just stay with Sumi-senpai for the time being while I search for an apartment," I state. _What am I saying?_

"Alright, I can help you find an apartment while I'm here," my brother offers.

"I'll be fine. Like I said before though, we should be going," I mention again and Takahiro nods his head.

"Goodbye Takahiro," Usagi-san says and gives him a warm smile before turning to me and putting out his hand.

"It was nice meeting you again Misaki. I look forward to tea," he says and I grasp his hand. I crave the warmth that emanates from it. I miss the way his hands traveled on my body and ruffled my hair. When we let go my palm goes cold and I wish to have entwined my fingers with his and hoped that he would've remembered me.

"Nice meeting you again too, Usami-san. Good luck with your surgery tomorrow and I wish you a good recovery," I say and bow to him.

"Thank you. Get home safely you two," he says and Takahiro gives him a final wave goodbye before we leave the room.

I come face-to-face with Usagi-chichi again, "He's all yours," I say with a hint of anger in my voice.

"Goodbye Misaki," he says and enters the hospital room. I take a final glance through the window and I see Usagi's lips in a frown as his father sits at the foot of his bed. _I shouldn't think this, but I wish Usagi forgot his father and brother. The ones that cause true pain and irritation to him._

"Should we get an early dinner somewhere? We really didn't have lunch," Takahiro says as we enter the elevator and pushes the floor button. I have a sinking feeling the lower we go as each floor dings and the farther away I am from Usagi.

"Could we maybe stop at Usami-san's home first? Just so I can grab a bag of clothes," I say.

"That's fine. I haven't said this yet, but I'm sorry about Akihiko forgetting you. I'm sure you guys had a good friendship. But, I am happy you've decided to live on your own. I don't know how he'll do it again, but I'm glad you're becoming an adult," Nii-chan says and I nod my head.

"Yeah," I say absently and the final ding for our floor sounds and we exit the elevator and then the hospital.

On the train, I sit next Takahiro and remember the times I've ridden on it with Usgai, but I also remember when I helped both his father and brother. I regret ever doing it now. If I hadn't, his family would've never known about me. I would be in that hospital right now, grasping Usagi's hand and telling him about our past year. But, of course there is my conscience nagging me, telling me that I'm a bother to him, that I'm holding him back from true happiness. I'll never understand Usagi because of our age difference, that this whole accident was my fault.

I unlock the front door to Akihiko's apartment, and it's still the same way I left it. I hurry upstairs and check his marimo and tend to them. I'm sure he'll be glad to seem them still alive, even though he won't remember how he obtained them when we went to Hokkaido. I head out of the room and look over the balcony to Nii-chan sitting on the couch watching some TV drama.

I go into my room next and pull out my large duffel bag. I begin loading my clothes into it and thankfully I don't have that much. As I clear out my closet and drawers I see the suits Akihiko purchased for me. I guess I should just leave them here, but I do grab the first grey suit he bought me for that night we went out on our first date. I zip up my bag and notice that I still have some room left. I leave my room to Akihiko's and grab two of his own t-shirts and one of his bears. _I at least want to have something of his to cling onto. Is that creepy? Yes. Do I care right now? Not really._

I stuff the shirts and bear into my bag and I shut my door for the last time in the Akihiko residence. _I wish I wasn't like this. Always believing I'm a burden to everyone, but ever since mom and dad's death I don't think I'll ever be able to help it. I guess it will be best, besides, two men being together is unacceptable. I don't even know how my brother would react. Maybe I'll just live alone forever._

"Nii-chan are you ready?" I yell as I descend the stairs.

"Yeah, let's go," he smiles and looks down to my bag, "Is that everything?"

"Yup, I really don't have a lot of clothes," I shrug my shoulders and then pull out the key to the apartment, "Guess I should leave this here."

I set the small key on the table and lock the door form the inside as we exit. I walk out of the apartment building and look up to the top floor, leaving behind everything just because of his father.

"I say we eat at that family restaurant we used to when we were younger," Takahiro says.

"Okay. I could go for something warm," I say and pat my stomach.

"Alright then," he says with a grin and we walk the few blocks to the restaurant.

"I remember coming here with mom and dad. It's so weird now," I say and Takahiro nods his head.

"Yeah. You still don't blame yourself do you?" he suddenly catches me off guard with that question, "You have to know it wasn't your fault Misaki. I just don't want it to affect your future relationships."

"I know," is all I say. _I don't think it will ever change. I will always blame myself for the accident. I will always consider myself a burden, even if I know I'm not. This is why I'm not with Usagi now._

I end up ordering some udon noodle soup and Nii-chan orders some fried fish. We both eat in silence, dwelling on the past day. From Nii-chan arriving at the train station to Akihiko waking up without any recollection of me.

"Since he woke up today, I may leave here tomorrow. I got an email from Riko and she's coming home early also. Apparently she has some important news for me," he smiles. _It must be nice to go home to someone you love. It also hurts, since the one I love is in love with Takahiro._

"That's fine, I'll phone Sumi-senpai when we get back to the hotel," I say and shovel soup in my mouth.

I lean back in my chair and pat my stomach a final time, "Nii-chan! I'm so full!"

"You're also drunk," he says pulling my beer away.

"Maybe you shouldn't take things that don't belong to you," I say spitefully, but I'm sure he just assumes my alcohol. I reach across the table to take it back, but he hands it to the closest waiter.

"Why do you have to do that? Just let me drink. I need it or else I won't be able to sleep," I whine and rest my head on the table.

"I don't even know why I let you drink. And what do you mean you won't be able to sleep?"

"Last night I stayed up worrying about Usagi," I say slurring my words.

"Usami-san you mean?" he asks.

"Yeah, that stupid, old man," I reply.

"You should respect him. He took you into his apartment with open arms," he snaps.

"I wonder why!" I say much louder, earning a few stares.

"Keep it down!" Nii-chan whispers, "Just stay here while I go pay for the check."

I do as he says and stay in my seat with my head on the table. I'm a drunken, heartbroken mess in the middle of a family restaurant.

"Come on you idiot," I fell an arm hook through mine and I'm pulled out of my chair. I look up expecting to see Usagi-san, but I'm disappointed when it's my brother.

"I can walk by myself," I say pushing him away.

"You're a terrible drunk," my brother points out.

"I'm well aware!" I say and I take in a deep breath of the cool night air as we exit outside.

I stagger behind my brother on the walk to the train station and I end up falling asleep on the train to the hotel, only to be rudely awakened by my brother before our stop.

"Have you sobered up yet?"

"A little," I say, "I could go for some water though."  
"I'm sure," Takahiro says with an airy laugh.

"I should call Sumi-senpai before it's too late," I say and whip out my phone.

"Hello?" he answers.

"Hi! So Sumi-senpai, I was wondering if I could stay at your house for a few days. I'm looking for an apartment."

"Ah that's right I heard Akihiko was in an accident. How is he doing? Does he need some cheering up?"

"No, he doesn't. So can I stay or not? I'll explain everything later," I demand.

"Yeah it's fine, come on by tomorrow," he says.

"Thank you, see you tomorrow," I say and hang up the phone.

"Well at least that's handled," I say while leaning my head back as the train comes to a stop at our station. I stand up with a minor headache, but I still feel the alcohol in my bloodstream.

I follow my brother into the hotel room and then throw myself onto my bed, while he places my bag on the luggage stand. I kick off my shoes, forgetting to do so at the door and snuggle up under the covers fully clothed.

"Goodnight," I say sleepily and suddenly doze off.

I awake, expecting to see the illuminated galaxy stickers on the ceiling and Akihiko sleeping next to me, but the ceiling is bare and the pillow next to me is cold. I kick the heavy covers off my body and head to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I head back out and sit on the bed, cracking open a water bottle to help with my dehydration. I turn to the clock and it's one-in-the-morning and I know I won't be able to fall back asleep. I get up and slip my shoes back on and quietly close the door behind me.

My hands find their way into my front pockets and I just walk away from the Teito Hotel. Soon enough my feet take me to the train and I already know where I'm taking myself. Usagi.

I get off the train and the brisk morning air stings my face as I exit the station and come to the front of the hospital. The hospital is empty except for the nurses and doctors bustling around to different patient rooms. I hit the floor number to Usagi-san's room in the elevator and I'm hoping to just sit in there with him, I don't even care if we talk. I want to feel his hand in mine, to know that he's still okay.

The doors open and I walk to the nurse's station where a nurse is scribbling something down on a document. I slightly clear my throat to get her attention and her head whips up to look at me.

"Can I help you? Visiting hours are closed right now, only immediate family can go in," she says directing her attention back to the document.

"I am Usami, Akihiko's boyfriend," I say nonchalantly, but the nurse seems so surprised, "Can you make an acceptation?"

"I'm not really supposed to, but since it is so late and no one will really notice, sure," she says sweetly.

"Thank you so much, and if you don't mind, could you keep the whole gay thing a secret. You see Usami-san is a famous author and this could ruin his career," I say.

"Of course. My lips are sealed," she smiles and I continue past her to Usagi-san's room.

I look through the small window and see him sleeping, but I then see a small, empty cot next to his bed. I enter the room quietly and walk towards Akihiko making sure I don't disturb him. Next to the cot is Usagi-chichi's briefcase. _He must be staying here, making sure I don't do things like this and visit him at night. I guess I better make this quick before he comes back._

I grasp Usagi's hand and I push back some of his hair before placing a light kiss on his forehead. He slightly stirs, but I know after living with him for a year, he could sleep through anything. I place another kiss on his knuckle before setting his hand back on his chest and leaving his room. I give the nurse another nod and as the doors close to the elevator, I see Usagi-chichi walk back into Usagi's room, knowing full well this is the last time I'll see Usagi-san in the hospital.

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please comment and review and tell me if you guys like where this whole fic is going! I also want to start writing in dual point of views, every couple of chapters or so I would switch to Akihiko and then Misaki. I hope you guys like it, because I enjoy writing this fic! Talk to you all next time!**


	3. A Week Of Recovery

**I'm trying something a little different and writing in Akihiko's point of view! Let me know how you like it and if you want more! I hope you guys enjoy this new chapter!**

Akihiko POV

I open my eyes and the bright lights immediately blind me in my room. This time I go slower opening one eye at a time, letting them adjust to the brightness. _Where am I? I'm incredibly thirsty, and why does my abdomen feel as though I've been hit with a truck._

"You're awake!" I hear a woman exclaim as she enters my room.

"Where am I?" I ask confused.

"Oh, you're in the hospital. You were hit in an accident. You broke a few appendages I might add," she explains and I nod my head, "Let me go get the doctor. He'll explain the rest."

The nurse leaves my room and I sit there lost in my own thoughts. _Well I guess I was right about getting hit. The weird thing is that I don't remember being hit at all._

"Usami-san, I am Doctor Tachibana. It's good to see you recovering well. I'm actually quite stunned you awoke from your coma so soon. It's very uncommon for one to do so, most certainly after being hit by a truck," the doctor says and then looks down at his clipboard.

"So what's the damage," I ask resting my hand on my stomach, but quickly removing it due to the pain.

"Well you have two closed fractures, one in your right arm and then one in your left leg. Those will heal up when we cast them after your surgery. The surgery is for you collapsed lung, which was caused by your fractured ribs. They punctured the thin outer layering of your right lung and air is being released causing the lung to decrease in size. We're going to go in and reset your ribs, and then preform pneumothorax, which is the procedure of removing the tissues that caused the lung to collapse. We're lucky you woke up before the surgery, it's much to dangerous to perform it on a coma patient, but we would've had to if you hadn't woken up," Doctor Tachibana finishes, but I know he must see the discomfort in my eyes, "Just rest easy. The surgery will go as planned tomorrow morning. I'll leave you be and your notify friends and family that you're awake."

Doctor Tachibana leaves my room and I'm left with my thoughts. _How could I've been so stupid to get into an accident? I must've been so focused on work and I was distracted. The doctor also said he was going to contact my friends and family. What friends? I don't have very many. I also don't keep in touch with my family. Honestly, the only person I care about seeing me is Takahiro._

"I called your friend, Takahashi. He said he'd be here right away," Tachibana says. _So Takahiro is coming._

I let out a deep breath and I smile to myself. It feels like it's been ages since I've seen him. I wonder what he's been up to.

"So if you don't mind me asking, what's your next novel about? I've been reading them for a while now. You're so talented at writing," the doctor compliments.

"Thank you for the appraisal. But, I'm not allowed to disclose anything about my upcoming books," I say. _That was a lie. For some reason, I can't remember what I've been writing. I know I still have that BL series and some other novels, but my memories feel fuzzy right now._

"Ah, I completely understand," Tachibana laughs.

Suddenly the door bursts open and in storms a kid, around the age of nineteen and following him is Takahiro.

"Takahiro?" I question and he gives me a warm smile.

"Hey," he replies and walks in the room and takes a seat next to my bed.

"Who's this that you have with you?" I ask looking to the boy. There's something about him that looks so sad.

"Akihiko this is Misaki, my brother," Takahiro says as if I should know him, but we've never met. I watch as he gives a quick glance to the doctor, but Tachibana seems to have his eyes plastered on me.

"Ah, so you are the famous Misaki I've heard so much about," I say and give him a smile trying to lighten the mood.

The doctor says I have amnesia apparently; he's outside talking to Misaki-san. _Why Misaki-san though? Shouldn't Takahiro be out there? I mean I'm not complaining that he's here next to me, but something seems off._

"So you don't remember my brother?" Takahiro asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Should I? I don't believe you ever introduced us," I say plainly.

"You were his tutor for his final months in high school. You got him into M University. He's been your room mate for the past eight months," he points out.

"I really don't remember. I must've been a pain for him," I comment, but Takahiro shakes his head.

"No, you two became good friends. I can't even comprehend how he must feel, being completely forgotten and all. I mean he was there when the accident happened," Takahiro explains.

"That's interesting," I say stroking my chin, "I'm sure after I rest a couple of days, I'll regain my memories. Now what about you? How's life?"

"Akihiko you were hit with a truck, I don't believe now is the right time to talk about my life."

"Yes, but I can't remember the last year, so there isn't much I can say," I reply and Takahiro laughs. I love his laugh; I could listen to it forever on repeat. The door then opens and Misaki-san pops his little head in the room.

"Takahiro we should be leaving," he states.

"But I haven't gotten to know you yet Misaki," I tease and it seems like he winces at my words. How strange.

"We should have tea sometime then. Maybe when you're out of this place."

"That sounds great. You're brother told me we were flat mates before my accident. I'd like to apologize for not remembering," I say and I notice his lip quiver. _Is he going to cry?_

"Well, I think I should be moving out anyways," he says in a small voice.

"Are you sure?" Takahiro asks.

"Yeah," he replies. _Maybe we weren't as close as Takahiro thought._

"I'll just stay with Sumi-senpai for the time being while I search for an apartment," he states. _Sumi-senpai. Isn't he a writer? No, I remember him mentioning having a son._

"Alright, I can help you find an apartment while I'm here," Takahiro offers.

"I'll be fine. Like I said before though, we should be going," he repeats. It seems like he wants to get away from me

"Goodbye Takahiro," I say and give him a final smile before turning to Misaki-kun and putting out my hand.

"It was nice meeting you again Misaki. I look forward to tea," I say and he grasps my hand. His hand feels familiar, as if we've touched before. Of course we have, we were flat mates. After a few lingering seconds we let go and his face looks so crestfallen, I almost wish I could remember him.

"Nice meeting you again too, Usami-san. Good luck with your surgery tomorrow and I wish you a good recovery," he says and I can hear his voice crack with almost every word.

"Thank you. Get home safely you two," I say and Takahiro waves goodbye before exiting.

I sit quietly for a moment until the door opens again and in walks my father. I glare at him, not desiring his presence.

"What are you doing here?" I ask and he sits at the foot of my bed.

"You should know that I care for you son. I was there when this whole mess happened," he says matter-o-factly.

"Why?"

"We had been getting along quite well actually. Your flat mate, Misaki, you, and I were out to dinner. You crossed the street at the wrong time when you were distracted. The doctor did tell me you have amnesia, so you must've forgotten. It pains me to see you like this Akihiko. I hope we can have the relationship we had before the accident," he says and rests his hand on my non-fractured foot.

"I'm sorry I forgot," I say looking down to my lap.

"Don't apologize for something you can't control my son," he says and give me a reassuring smile.

"How is Haruhiko?" I ask curiously.

"Doing just fine. He should be here tomorrow after your surgery. I know you both have fought a lot, but please try to make up."

"If I can have a good relationship with you, I'm sure I can with my brother," I respond and my father gets up. He walks towards me and rest his hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you Akihiko," he says earnestly.

I awake to the sound of my hospital door closing and I look around in the darkness to see if anyone is there. The door then opens again and my father walks back in and lies back down in his cot next to my bed.

Something feels different. I feel warmth around my body, but I don't feel ill. I feel content and happy. I touch my forehead and it feels like I've just been touched there, no, more like kissed. I probably just had a dream and can't remember any of it. Strange by how real it feels.

I close my eyes again, but my heart rate feels faster. It's most likely just nerves about tomorrow's surgery. I finally go back to sleep and I hope to have the same dream I had dreamt before, but it never reappears.

"You are recovering quite well from today's surgery," Doctor Tachibana compliments.

"Then why does it feel like I got hit by another truck," I respond while wincing as I adjust myself in my bed.

"Well I did have to break more ribs to get to your lung. I had to reset them also. So some discomfort is in order. While you were under the anesthetics, I also took the liberty of casting your fractures," he says and I look down to my purple foot and pink arm.

"Why these colors?" I question.

"Because you look too serious Usami-san," Tachibana says and then we both hear a small knock at the door.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Takahiro steps inside and gives me a sympathetic smile, "How are you holding up?"

"Well the fact that I can't use the restroom without someone else's help, I'm holding up well," I joke and he laughs. Takahiro sits down at the foot of my bed and Dr. Tachibana leaves.

"I just came to say goodbye," he smiles.

"You're leaving already?" I question.

"Yeah, Riko is coming home and I guess she has some news for me," he says.

"That's your girlfriend right?"

"Oh, you must've forgotten. She's my wife. We live in Osaka, that's why Misaki was your flat mate," he says so plainly, but my chest feels tight. I reach up to touch it as if I could stop my heart from shattering.

"I completely forgot. When did you announce the engagement?"

"Eight months ago. Right before Misaki started at M University."

"Congratulations Takahiro," I say giving him a small smile. _How could I forget this? I have no choice, but to stop loving him. Well, in the way that I do. How did I overcome this pain before? How can I do it again?_

"Thank you Akihiko, it means a lot. I'll be sure to invite you over sometime to Osaka."

"I'd love that," I lie trying to conceal my actual emotions.

"I'll see you around. Recover well and if you don't mind, could you watch over Misaki. I felt safer when he had someone looking out for him," he says and I nod my head.

"Of course. Safe travels," I say and wave to him with my pink casted arm.

He gives me a final wave and steps out of my room. I sit there for a moment and just think to myself. _What do I have to live for now? Takahiro was the one who gave me life. I wish this feeling went away in my chest. I know it's not the pain from surgery, but the pain of a broken heart._

It's not long till I start to feel tears roll down my cheeks. I quickly wipe them away, not wanting anyone to see my weakness. Some part of me wishes that this accident were fatal, so I wouldn't have to relive this pain. All I know is that I need to find out how I got through this before.

 _One Week Later…_

"Well, it seems like you're all checked out. I'm honestly shocked that kid never came around and visited you," Tachibana says and then my father rests his hand on my shoulder.

"Must've been too busy with school. That Misaki is quite the busy one," my father interjects.

"Still odd. Besides, I think the school is on Holiday, but whatever," he comments, but goes back to looking at his clipboard, "Do you have someone going home with you? You're going to need some help getting around. I know you don't have the leg cast anymore since it was a small fracture, but your ribs are still healing and you only have one arm."

"My flat mate moved out, so no. I don't have anyone," I say.

"I'll go with you son. I can take another week off," my father smiles and gives my shoulder a light squeeze.

"Thanks," I reply.

"Alright, I'll go get a nurse with a wheel chair and we'll get you out of here," Tachibana smiles and leaves my room.

"How close was I to Misaki-kun?" I ask.

"Oh, you two barely spoke. He was always busy with his friend Sumi-san, the famous writer's son. I think they have some sort of relationship," my father says.

"Misaki is gay? Does Takahiro know?"

"I don't think so. Anyways, I'll go see where that nurse is," my father then steps out of my room.

 _Well this is strange. I had no idea Misaki was gay. I probably knew back then before the accident, but this is all news to me. If only the other Takahashi could be gay._

I rub my temples as the nurse walks in with my wheel chair and my father. I'm able to get myself out of bed, but the pain in my chest is indescribable as I walk to the wheel chair.

"How are you feeling Usmai-san," the nurse asks me sweetly.

"I'm doing well," I reply and my father takes the lead and stops at the nurse's station to check me out of the hospital.

"I haven't seen your boyfriend lately. He visited the other night, but he hasn't come again. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about it," she smiles and places her index finger up to her lips. _Boyfriend? What about Takahiro? He must be the one who helped me overcome my sadness. I have to find him or at least apologize to him for not remembering who he is._

"I'm sorry, but could you describe him to me?" I ask and she gives me an odd look.

"Well, it was dark, but he had green eyes, brown hair, and was a little short. Do you not remember him?"

"My memory is a little fuzzy. Thank you though for letting him in," I smile and she pats my shoulder.

"Recover well Usmai-san," she wishes and my father then grabs the handles to my wheel chair and rolls me into the elevator.

 _He must've visited that one night I had that "dream". Maybe it was actually reality. Why did he leave so soon? Why hasn't he visited me again? Who is this mystery person?_

I don't say a word to my father on the way home. For this past week he's neglected to tell me about this person. Maybe he doesn't even know about him. My father also hasn't left my side for this past week, so maybe that's why he hasn't visited me.

"Home sweet home," my father says as he opens my apartment door and guides me in, "Sit here while I go whip up some tea."

He leaves me on my couch and I reach out to my pack of cigarettes and pull one out.

"You probably shouldn't smoke since you did just have lung surgery," my father calls from the kitchen and I place it back in its box.

 _Something is different about my apartment. It feels so much larger than it used to. It's probably because Misaki isn't living here, but still. The air feels heavy, like how my heart did after finding out Takahiro was married. All I know is that I have to find my significant other, the one who helped my through the pain of losing Takahiro and the one who was able to take his place in my heart._

 **Sorry this chapter is shorter than the others! I hope you guys liked Akihiko's point of view. I did enjoy writing in his perspective. Let me know if you guys want more of his POV and how you guys like this chapter! Your reviews always motivate me to write more and I hope you guys like this fanfiction! I'll talk to you again in the next update!**


	4. Mocha and Black Coffee

**Hello! Sorry I haven't updated in a while! I've been suffering from major writer's block and I've been trying to plan out how this fanfic** **is going to play out. Thank you all for reading this fic** **and I hope you enjoy this new chapter!**

(Misaki POV)

I sit there on Sumi-sempai's porch sipping my tea and trying to think of anything other than Usagi-san. It's been a whole week since Usagi left the hospital and I wasn't been able to visit him during his stay. _I tried going back after visiting him the first time, but I was stopped at the hospital entrance by one of the Usami_ _security guards. After that attempt I finally gave up, maybe it is best that I'm out of his life._

"Misaki-kun, are you going to school today? You also have work at Marukawa. This may sound harsh, but though you've been erased from sensei's memories you can't just stop living when there are people who have you in their memories," Sumi-san says and I look down to my coffee _. Everything he's saying is right, but being completely forgotten by Usagi_ _has left a deep gash in my heart. He's constantly on my mind to the point where I can't focus. I wonder if he's eating well or if anyone is taking care of him. I'd hate for him to be alone through all of this._

"You're right. I'll get ready and we can walk to school," I say and get up from my spot.

"Well that was much easier than I expected," he comments.

"I need to stop moping around. Besides I've been free loading in your house, I'll look for a place of my own today."

"Take as long as you need Misaki-kun," he smiles and I leave to my guest room.

I change into my usual apparel of jeans, t-shirt, and a flannel. I sigh as I look in the mirror, I can see my puffy eyes and red cheeks from crying so much _. I just need to move on. But how can I?_

I brush my teeth and try to make my hair look somewhat presentable in public. Sumi-san waits for me at the front door as I slip on my shoes and pull my bag over my shoulder.

"We'll be late if we don't hurry and catch the train," sempai says and I nod my head.

"Let's go," I smile and we both head out.

The walk to the station is longer than usual, but what else did I expect. I'm not staying with Usagi-san anymore. We barely make it on to the train due to our lateness but also by how crowded it is. I grab ahold of the rail above me and stay quiet for the dureation of the short trip. Being on these trains always brings back memories of the Usami family, since my kindness is the reason why I got mixed up with them. _Curse my good heart!_

Exiting the train is even more of a hassle when we have to wade our way through the crowd of people to get to the platform. Sumi-sempai tries to instigate a conversation with me on the way to school, but after his third conversation starter and my third shrug he stops talking.

"Well meet me after class and we can go grab some coffee after," He offers and I shake my head.

"No thanks. I'm going to stay a little later and catch up on some of my missed assignments," I say.

"Alright. I'll see you when you get back from work," he says.

"Yeah, see you later sempai," I reply and head towards my Psychology class.

I take my usual seat in the back and I try to follow along with the lecture my professor gives but my mind continues to wander and no matter how hard it try I always end up thinking about him _. I was never so obedient to Papa Usagi, why must I now? Maybe I'm realizing that my feelings weren't as strong as I thought they were. No. I love Usagi-san. I know that for sure. But why can't I face him? Why am I listening to his father? I'm an adult I should be able to do what I want, let alone listen to someone else's father._

 _But, there's also another part of me who believes that I need to let Usagi-san go. To let him live out his life to his full potential and not having an annoying kid ten years his senior tagging along. I'll never be at the same level as Usagi-san and maybe he needs someone who is._

I rub my temples and I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear my name be called.

"Takahasi-kun, can you answer this?" my professor asks.

"I apologize, but my thoughts were somewhere else at the moment. I can't answer the question," I reply.

"I'd like to see you after class," he announces and I see heads turn and whispers begin, but I nod my head.

have

The bell rings and I gather my bag and sling it over my shoulder and head down the stairs to meet with my professor. _He's going to kick me out of this class._

"You wanted to speak with me Professor Soto," I say cowering with my tail between my legs.

"Take a seat," He says and I do so, "You've been gone for the past few days and haven't turned in assignments. Is everything okay outside of school?"

"Ah, yeah, I've just been sick. I've been having a hard time focusing since my fever went down," I lie and I know he doesn't buy it.

"Alright. I'll extend the turn-in dates for your missed assignments and please feel better Takahashi-kun," he says, not pressing the matter.

"Thank you for the extension. I promise not to let you down," I say getting up and giving him a deep bow.

"Takahashi-kun you can always talk to me if you need to. Remember I am a psychologist. Don't hesitate to make an appointment or come in and talk to me after class," he offers and I nod my head.

"Thank you again sir," I say and bow another time for good measure.

"See you Thursday," he smiles and waves as I leave the lecture hall

I let out a deep breath and clutch my chest. _I think I was going to have a heart attack. I thought for sure he was going to kick me out of class. At least I only had one class today, I think I have time to head back to Sempai's_ _and start my assignments before work._

This is the first time I've felt at ease for the past couple of days, to at least know that there's someone out there who will listen to me and somewhat cares about me. But, the feeling ends rather quick as I walk up to the front gate of school and the all too familiar red sports car is parked at the curb with Usagi-san leaning up against it with his arms crossed.

"Usagi, I mean Usami-san, what are you doing here?" I ask and he lifts his head up and our eyes meet.

"Misaki you go to this university? I just had this strange feeling in the back of my mind and it was telling me to come here. I'm just going to assume I visited Kamijou a lot before the accident." He replies and I think my heart skips a beat _. He remembers picking me up everyday. It must be his muscle memory. I guess I have learned stuff in psychology._

"Maybe that's it," I say.

"Odd though, how you walked up at the same time I got out. Must be destiny," he laughs and my heart goes back to aching. Missing his laugh and his smile, "Anyways Misaki-kun, what are you up to right now? I'm sure Kamijou is busy and I've wanted to get to know you. Let's go get some coffee."

"Uh, okay. Are you sure you can drive? You still have your arm casted," I say and make a notion to his pink, plastered arm.

"I got here didn't I," he says and I nod my head. I climb inside the car and I'm overwhelmed with his strong, but familiar cologne.

"How are you healing?" I ask as we merge onto the road.

"Well actually. My leg is almost healed up, my ribs have a few more weeks and I get my cast off my arm in two weeks," he says.

"That's great! Who's been aiding you for the past week?" I ask.

"My father. I'm sure you guys met before the accident since we were all together before it happened," he says.

"Yeah," I say quietly and I'm stumped for words. I've wanted to talk to him for so long and yet I have nothing to say. I've just missed him so much; just being in his car with him makes my heart race.

For the most part of the trip we stay quiet with some music playing in the background from the radio. I resist reaching out and grabbing his hand while his arm sits on the armrest in-between the seats. He then manages to stop at one of our favorite cafes that we used to frequent. It's right across the street from the florist I bought Usagi-san's flowers after he won that award. It's amazing how his mind is remembering small details about our life before and yet he struggles to remember the big picture.

"Are you coming Misaki-kun?" Usagi asks and I realize I've been sitting in the car while Usagi is out holding the door open for me.

"Yeah. Sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind.

"It's fine. Why don't you grab us a seat and I'll go get the coffee," he offers.

"Oh, here's some money," I say digging into my bag before we enter the café.

"It's fine. Coffee is on me," he says and I nod my head and find a table near the window overlooking the street.

As I settle in I peek to the line where Usagi-san waits and I can't take my eyes off of him. _He looks the same as usual, but something just seems different. What am I thinking? Of course something is different. He doesn't remember me._

I look around him and I can see women staring at him also. Jealousy rises within me, but what could I do? Nothing. He doesn't belong to me anymore. He's just my old roommate or so he thinks.

"I got you a mocha," he says while placing the large mug in front of me and taking a seat, "I pegged you as a sweets kind of guy."

"Thanks. This is actually my favorite drink. You must've gotten a black coffee. You hate anything sweet," I reply and he raises an eyebrow.

"Misaki-kun, how close were we before the accident. I've just been hearing so many mixed things. The doctor at the hospital said he was surprised when you never visited me, but my father said you and I barely spoke," he comments as I take a sip of the warm coffee.

"Well, I'd say we were good friends. We kind of knew everything about each other," I reply and Usagi-san nods his head.

"I wonder why my father said that then. He must've not known how close we were," he says.

"Yeah, I wonder," I say with bitterness in my tone.

"Since we knew a lot about each other, Misaki do you like men?" he asks and I nearly spit out my coffee.

"What!" I yell a little too loudly, "Who told you that?"

"My father told me you had a significant other, the son of Sumi-sensei. He said it was one of the reasons why we were never close," he says and I can only imagine the copious amount of lies Papa Usagi has told him.

"He must've gotten the wrong idea. Sumi-sempai and I are good friends nothing else," I say irritated.

"Oh, then it was all a misunderstanding," he says and stirs his coffee.

"I did have a significant other though," I say quietly, "He and I were incredibly close, but something happened and I couldn't see him anymore."

 _Should I tell him about us? I mean his father isn't here to stop me. What's holding me back?_ I open my mouth once more to speak but the words don't roll easily off my tongue and Usagi-san starts talking.

"I see. If you don't mind me asking, what happened?"

"Just a lot of stuff," I reply and he can tell I don't want to keep talking.

"So have you found any new apartments?" he asks changing the subject.

 _I don't answer since my mind has wondered somewhere else. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just say he was my significant other? Why must I be afraid of these feelings for him? Why do I have to be like this? Constantly drowning in my thoughts about him and yet I can't even tell him the effect he has on me. I just don't want to get in his way of a successful life, one where he'd be better off without me._

"Misaki-kun?" he waves his hand in front of my face, "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah. I was sick last week and I've been struggling to focus ever since my fever went down," I say using the same excuse as I did for my professor, but Usagi seems to buy into it, "What was the question again?"

"I was just asking whether or not you've found any apartments yet," Usagi repeats.

"Not yet. I honestly haven't started looking, but I plan to pick some flyers and packets tonight at the train station," I reply and he nods his head.

"You could always move back in with me," he offers and I feel my heart sink because I know I can't accept the offer.

"Thank you for the offer, but I can't. You were a great landlord for the time being, but I think I need to live on my own now," I say and not meaning a single word.

"Oh, alright. I could help you find some apartments," he says.

"I wouldn't want to trouble you Usagi-san," I say, "I think I'd rather do this on my own.

"Usagi-san?" he questions and I feel my cheeks burn.

"Ha, I used to call you that," I say and I know I'm as red as a tomato, but Usagi-san smiles.

"Misaki-kun, I'd like us to become as close as we were before this accident. I'd like to apologize again for not remembering our friendship," he says earnestly.

" _Yeah, that'd be nice," I say. Papa Usagi_ _never said I couldn't be friends with him. But is this really safe for myself. I don't know if my heart will be okay solely knowing that we're only friends, but just being beside him would be great._

"Good. I'm very happy," he says bluntly and I blush even more.

"Usami-san do you mind driving me to Marukawa. I need to get to my part-time job there," I say while looking down to my watch.

"Of course," he says and we both get up and head out of the café.

Again I'm bombarded with Usagi-san's scent as we enter his car again, and I can feel my heart flutter from just being so close to him.

 _I hate how he has this effect on me. I wish I didn't feel this way towards him. I wish he were never my tutor. I wish I never fell in love with him. I wish the accident never happened. I wish for him to remember me. But, if being friends gets me close to Usagi-san, I won't complain. I just hope I don't get in his way._

"Misaki, I didn't mention this at the café when you said it, but please call me Usagi-san. It has a better ring than Usami, and I'd like things to be the same way as they were before the accident," he says _. If only things could be the same._

"Okay Usagi-san," I say and I can see his lips tug into a smile.

"Here we are," he says pulling up to the curb in front of Marukawa.

"Thank you again for driving me," I say and get out of the car and give him a deep bow.

"No need for formalities Misaki. I hope we can do this again, and please stop by my apartment anytime," he says and I nod my head.

"That'd be great," I smile and so does he."Have a good day Misaki-kun," he says and I close the door to his car and watch as his car drives away.

I clutch my bag to my chest wishing for this constant pain in my heart to stop, but Usagi-san has managed to take complete control over it. I can feel tears prick my eyes, but I quickly wipe them away from my eyes before walking into Marukawa.

 **Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this chapter and please comment and review about what you thought. Your guy's comments really motivate me to write and I just want to say thank you for taking your time out of your day and reading my work! Talk to you in the next update!**


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